Holding our breath...

As I've though about yesterday, it feels as though we have been holding our breath... will the extra 25 mg of seroquel help B back to the life he's accustomed to? He started it Sunday dinnertime & having discussed the extra pill with B earlier in the day, he took it without comment or complaint. He didn't want me to read to him at bedtime Sunday night, so C just sat in the dark & chatted with him until he fell asleep at nearly his usual time. I was a bit nervous about camp Monday morning. B was still having trouble with OCD thoughts & we sat & hugged for a bit after breakfast to help him pull it together. He never said that he didn't want to go, so off we went. We seem to have very deep, interesting conversations on the way to camp, so he was pretty diverted in the car. He ticced pretty violently when he got there, but I decided that they'd call me if he was having trouble... I stuck close to home anyway, just in case (it wasn't hard, seeing as it was laundry day & I needed to bake bread :). I brought both B & his best buddy E home after camp, with a stop to buy water ballons :) B had been very distracted during the day- he was wearing his swim trunks when I picked him up! It turned out to have been funny incidents, though... he spilled orange soda on his pants (& his pizza, which he said didn't taste very good with the soda on it...) during lunch, then another kid accidentally hosed him with chocolate milk. So he put on still-damp swim trunks (with his clean boxers :) & bagged the sodden clothes in the plastic bag I send for emergencies. That was pretty good thinking, actually, although he decided he must have a "mild case of dementia", which he thought was funny... After a snack, E changed into his trunks, too & they commenced with the water balloon fun. After E left B seemed tired, but not overwhelmed, & told me about how the game he's designing is coming along. He couldn't be on his own because the thoughts would overwhelm him, but he kept me company for a bit then went online to look at pokemon cards. I think he's memorising every card in existence as an antidote to the thoughts... It will be very cool & interesting when he gets the japanese cards & can compare them.

When C came home for dinner he said he'd spoken to Dr. B, the psychiatrist, & that she would have a new prescription for B waiting for us after camp tomorrow. She wants him to try klonopin- an anti-anxiety medicine that we'd decided against trying a few months ago because it, too, has a possible weight-gain side-effect. C told me that he has adult patients on it & they'venot had difficulty with weight-gain & it's helped their anxiety a great deal. After dinner it was tubby time. While B was bathing a ferocious thunder storm came through, so after I braided his rat-tail, I read for a bit from our Arthur Ransome book to distract us :) B & C were going to play a pokemon card came after, but B was too tired & asked me to read some more. At one point he had an overwhelming thought & rolled into a fetal position, but he was able to verbalise the thought (it was the one about Rufus being beheaded again- he said it was very graphic). I made physical contact with B, to give him some feedback from outside his head, then told him that this bad thought couldn't happen, that Rufus was safe, & that he was safe... he calmed down pretty quickly & was able to go on listening to the story. He fell asleep within about 1/2 an hour.

This morning felt a bit less like I was holding my breath. B started ticcing the moment he woke up, but the minute he was distracted by dressing & eating breakfast it stopped. He was quite relaxed going into camp, looking forward to working on his game. This afternoon we'll pick up B's new prescription after camp, then go the the store to fill it & have a snack there while we're waiting (B is really looking forward to this part :). Our friend Paula & her son, favourite sitter C, are coming to dinner, so we'll pick up some fruit- maybe make strawberry shortcake for them. We'll also start B's new medicine, continuing the breath-holding phase as we watch for side-effects & to see if it helps.