Rufus resting...

Anyone who's been following my blog for a while will know that Rufus is Brendan's super-best-buddy/transitional object. I blogged about Rufus back on February 9th, 2006 (the new blogger won't let me link to the post right now, though :( ) & explained the huge role he has had in our family's life since he arrived Christmas 2004. He even had an important role in Brendan's birthday party last April, & was featured on the thank-you cards we made post-party :)

Brendan carried Rufe to school every day for about a year & a half, from February of 3rd grade & all through 4th, & having Rufus there really helped Brendan manage throughout the schoolday. He helped Brendan make friends, too, since the other kids were often intrigued by him, & Brendan was always happy to speak up (in Rufus' voice, sometimes) when they asked about him. Rufus had a role in the 3rd grade play (he played a chicken, wrapped in a feather boa- how many parents have been asked to find a chicken costume for a plush naked mole rat, I wonder?) & also did a solo during the all-school concert that same year, singing the first verse of "Gary Indiana" (Brendan did an amazing job of hitting all the right notes in Rufus' funny, mole rat voice). Rufus was also Watson to Brendan's Holmes for Halloween 2 years ago, with a knitted vest that matched Brendan's caped coat...

When Brendan moved up to the "big kids' floor" this year, & into 5th grade, we all (including Brendan) came to the conclusion that Rufus should stay home from school. It was partly because of the "big kid" thing & partly because Rufus was starting to show the wear & tear of life with Brendan. I have been called upon for emergency mole rat sutures on more than one occasion, causing great anguish for Brendan, & poor Rufe has some permanent stains from everything from being mouthed by a distressed boy to being used as an impromptu football... At first it was hard for Brendan to remember to take Rufe out from his right armpit & find a safe place for him at home. Sometimes he was behind a sofa pillow, sometimes (disconcertingly) under the sofa cushion I usually sit on as I work on the laptop. These days we've been tucking him into Brendan's bed after Brendan gets dressed, surrounded by friends...

It's bittersweet, having Rufus less involved in our lives. I can't tell how many times he's saved us during meltdowns by doing something silly or endearing & distracting Brendan from his misery. Brendan told me recently that Rufus doesn't help as much as he used to, when things get out of hand, but I think that this is as much a part of Brendan growing-up as Rufus spending less time in his armpit. He still gets out & about- yesterday's snow day had Rufus back in his usual place for the day, & he was hugged mightily at bedtime when OCD distress was giving Brendan a great deal of pain. But it is bittersweet... I miss having Rufus' manic, goofy smile peeking from under Brendan's arm. I miss Brendan talking in Rufus' voice to cheer us up. Happily, though, Rufus is safe & warm & gets a lot of sleep these days (we imagine him as being a night owl now :).

And for anyone wondering what things look like at our house, with all the new snow: